my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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