It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
