Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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