i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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