What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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