I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
you had me at cake vodka
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
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