my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
