you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
