Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
