No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
