I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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