There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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