I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Randomize
