Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
