peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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