i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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