what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize