I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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