ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
