I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Randomize
