Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
