Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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