She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
