never play flip cup with pint glasses
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
