So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I know her cup size but not her name....
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
