you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
