There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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