im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I don't deserve a penis
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Randomize
