I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
