and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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