I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Randomize
