Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
