Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
