We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
this must be what syphilis tastes like
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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