Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
