so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
