she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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