True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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