i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize