booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
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