idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
