So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize