It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
How does it feel to date your dad?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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