I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I will pee on everything he values.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
