we're chasing vodka with high fives
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
i drank out of a bidet.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
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