I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
