i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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