google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Randomize
