Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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