Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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