Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
