I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
