where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
farters have to be the big spoon...
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
