just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
