Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
