Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
