What a fucking waste of an outfit
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
